Prostitution Part Two:
The Internet - Adapting to a New World
by Beverly Fisher, Slut at Large and Woman of Easy Virtue

Note: the following is a work of fiction. Any similarities between the story and real life are coincidental. Beverly Fisher is a companion paid for her time only.

Our parents and grandparents used to reminisce about when they were young. How different life was then. They would look back over fifty or sixty years, and marvel about the changes that had taken place.

These days, the world is growing and changing so quickly, we can look back and reminisce about life a short ten years ago.

For most hookers, life has changed drastically. And yet in the end, the fundamentals of what we do have remained the same for thousands of years, timeless. We are still the temple prostitutes; yet today we serve an Electronic God.

With the advent of the Internet and other technologies, we have changed the way we do business. Some of these changes have been positive, improving security and our quality of life. But many of these so-called “improvements” can be considered mixed blessings at best, depending on who you ask. For many prostitutes, the Internet is both a boon and a curse.

In the beginning

I have been a sex worker, off and on, for the past 20 years. I have been a stripper, a peep show girl, a phone slut, a topless masseuse, and a whore. Lately, I’ve been working as an escort for the past five years. But when I started my career as a hooker, I was working in a massage parlor in 1989. I worked two years here, four years there, until I finally went back to the business in 2000.

The difference between the Life now and in 1989 is vast. For one thing, I’m a lot older, wiser, and more experienced. But there have been several technological advances that have had huge impact on the way I do business today, versus then.

The first great advancement has to be the invention of the cel phone. Remember when cel phones were huge brick-like objects, and you carried them around in a bag? Cel phones freed us. Before cel phones, I was chained to my incall, waiting for the phone to ring. You sat around all dressed up in your lingerie, waiting for someone to call and say they were on their way over. No one made appointments. I was like fast food, always ready to fill a client’s hunger. I spent untold hours a day, sitting there taking calls and watching television or doing my homework. But when my time was up, I went home. I was done for the day. I didn’t have to think about the phone anymore, or work. I went to movies. I had dinner with friends. Kind of like straight people.

With the cel phone, I could run errands, go shopping, party with a girlfriend, hang out at home. After the client called, I’d meet him over at the incall. One Adult Service Provider (ASP), Ariadne, describes running an escort service. “We got one of those bag phones. It was great. We’d forward all the calls to the cel phone and go to the bar!” It was a freeing experience, being able to take calls wherever I happened to be. The down side was that while on the one hand I was free to come and go, on the other hand I was getting calls all the time, even after I wanted to be “done” for the day. The cel phone ruled my life.

Caller ID was invented. What an amazing thing that was. It cut the number of weird/stupid/jackoff calls down to almost nothing. It also cut down on the number of no-shows, when you had a number to call back – “where are you?”

Around 1995, everything changed. It was a huge change, but we weren’t aware of it at first. It started gradually, then suddenly became bigger and bigger.

A Brave New World

WI had returned to the business in the fall of 1995. Just in time for the advent of the Internet. I was working in Northern California, and started running the usual print ads – in a small local paper, and in the Spectator. One day I got a call from a little San Francisco-based company, just starting out. Would I be interested in running an ad on the Eros Guide, on the Internet? I tried it. The response was terrific. The clients were different, too. Upscale. Polite. Businessmen and computer industry professionals. And they made appointments to come see you, sometimes days in advance. They were not the “sperm of the moment” calls I was used to, not at all.

I had to run a photo of myself, something I had never done before. I appreciated the anonymity of the print ads. There was no chance that no one would accidentally recognize me. The idea of putting my photo up on the Internet for everyone to see gave me pause. But I had a friend shoot some photos and I took the plunge. Again, great response. The amazing part was that I wasn’t getting walks.

The conventional wisdom of the day was that everyone had walk-outs. No matter how beautiful the girl, eventually she would have a walk or two. It was just one of the negatives of the business, and everyone accepted it. Once in a while, someone would come to the door and look at you, and change his mind. Some were really rude about it, insulting and degrading. It’s very difficult to describe yourself perfectly on the phone... and one has no control over the visual images that a client will conjure based on your words. I have always been a bigger girl. I would use words to describe myself like “voluptuous” “curvy” “rubenesque” and yet some gents wouldn’t get the picture. I had one walk where the man took one look at me and said, “I didn’t know you were a fat pig!” To which I smoothly replied, “I didn’t know you were a flaming asshole.” But his words were devastating. It hurt to get a walk. It was very hard on the ego. I know one lady who got three walks in one day and was absolutely a nervous wreck by nightfall.

But with my photos up on the Internet, I wasn’t getting walks anymore – except from the clients responding to my print ads. People would look at my photos, and if they didn’t like what they saw, they simply didn’t call me. Marvelous! I loved running Internet ads. But I didn’t see the potential in the Net. I didn’t see what was coming. I simply saw it as an electronic version of a print ad, nothing more. Just one more place to get clients, one more place to send my money. My advertising overhead approached a thousand dollars a month. Print ads were very expensive.

Birth of a community

Then, in 1997, something very strange happened. A client came to see me, and after the session, he told me what a wonderful time he had, and how it fit with the review he’d seen. Review? Review? What is this “review?” He said he’d seen a positive review about me on something called Red Book. I didn’t know what that was. Bemused, I pictured a handful of clients getting together and printing a book. I had no idea it was related to the Internet in any way. I was initially very flattered. I felt like I was a fine restaurant, or a great musical on opening night. I told my girlfriends in the business about it, and we had a laugh. We had no idea how big this was, a sea change of epic proportions.

I continued working until 1999, and I continued seeing gentlemen who told me of these “reviews” on Red Book. I just smiled, pleased that people were saying nice things about me, utterly clueless as to the implications.

I took a year off, and then came back to the business part time in 2000, now in Colorado. What can I say, I just can’t stay away from the sex industry, in all its myriad forms. I am drawn to it. I enjoy it. I believe it to be an honorable, honest profession – more honest than most. I worked a straight job at the same time, living what I call “the Batman Life,” mild-mannered office worker by day, outrageous call-girl by night. Initially, I worked for a small escort service, one that advertised exclusively in print mediums. As I was used to, ads in these magazines were very expensive.

Then one day a client from the service told me about a website, a place where ladies and clients could get together and talk, and the ladies could advertise their services. At the time, I just thought it was a neat idea. Again, the implications were lost on me. I went to the site and was amazed. Here was a whole community of people, talking openly about something that has always been secret, infused with mystery.

I started working as an independent, and advertising on this small local board. The rate was amazingly cheap, $20 a month. I was deluged with business. Again, the quality of the clientele was vastly superior to what I’d been used to. I put up a website of my own. Appointments were now booked primarily through email, not the phone. Clients would send me photos of themselves. We would chat online, get to know one another before the appointment took place. It was more time consuming than just taking phone calls, but the rewards seemed to be greater.

And then the reviews started coming in. I was delighted at first. Each review brought me more business, and it was nice to read such positive things about myself. But the pressure was intense. How did you know who would review you, and who wouldn’t? What if they didn’t like me? What if I got a bad review? A bad review would probably feel a thousand times worse than a walk... and it would be up there on the Internet for everyone to see, for as long as the review site existed. Just the thought filled me with horror.

I learned about other sites, national sites – Big Doggie, The Erotic Review, ASPD.net. The Eros Guide, once a fledgling advertising source in the Bay Area alone, had gone national and was a huge success. This world, this business, which had once felt so small to me, was now enormous. We were everywhere. Clients were everywhere – and they were talking to each other, sharing experiences, negative and positive. They called themselves “hobbyists,” not “tricks” or “johns,” and seeing escorts was called “participating in the hobby.” For many of them, seeing escorts on a regular basis was indeed a hobby, a part of their everyday lives.

Chatting with the girls

But the sex workers themselves were everywhere, too. I found escorts-only boards and websites, where we, too, could share our experiences with one another, offer advice, warn about bad clients, talk openly about how we felt and what we were doing.

This was a major change, and very important to me. Just ten short years before, my friendships with other women in the business were confined to two ladies: the woman who “turned me out” and taught me the business, Kira, and another woman, Nicky, who was a friend of Kira’s. That was it.

Being in this business can be terribly isolating. We don’t have jobs we go to, with coworkers to talk with, share joys, commiserate over failures, and just generally talk about our business. We can’t tell just anyone what we do, for fear of traditional societal judgements, and possibly legal repercussions. My friendships with Kira and Nicky were terribly important to me, because with them I could feel free to be myself, to talk about whatever came into my head, without guarding my tongue.

Now, suddenly, I have a whole community of women to talk to, to relate with. From the small escort-only board in Colorado, to the national boards like escortsupport.com, or escortblogs.net, or even international boards like punterlink, I have places I can go to connect with other sex workers. I have made friends with sex workers both male and female all over the world. I am connected in a deeper way to my sisters and brothers in this business than ever before. I marvel talking with women from Toronto or the UK, who don’t have the legal hassles we have. I learn more and more about this business every day.

Further, some escorts-only sites offered Bad Call Lists (BCLs), places to post information about clients who were at best no-shows or ripoffs, and at worst physically abusive and dangerous. The BCLs are invaluable resources for protecting our safety.

I know what boys like

The clients love the Internet. I conducted an email interview with 38 clients, from across the United States. Ninety percent of those I interviewed use the Internet exclusively to find and contact escorts. Ten percent, mostly those who have been “hobbying” for longer than 10 years, use a combination of the Internet and other means – print ads in newspapers and magazines, seeking out streetwalkers, going to massage parlors, asking cab drivers and bellboys, and yellow pages ads.

Why do the clients like the Internet so much? One client wrote that he liked “the wealth of information about specific ASPs through websites, discussion boards, and review boards. I like the opportunity to communicate through email and telephone before committing to scheduling a session. I have selected escorts sometimes on the basis not only of their reviews, but of their `posting personalities,' how they come across in postings on ASP discussion boards.”

Another client, who goes by the handle “Foxred,” wrote that, through the Internet, “I can have the opportunity to know a little about the person that I am about to meet. I feel that all of us, ASPs and hobbyists, look forward to knowing something about the people that we touch in our lives, even if it is just for a fleeting moment. I can also read about the different requirements that I need to fill. The difference is just amazing and the photos (even half photos) are simply wonderful. I like the honesty that the Internet has brought to this wonderful life.”

One client points out that before the Internet, “there was a somewhat lower quality in the hobby overall. Ladies are now business women (much more like the days of the Old West)... smart ladies with advanced degrees are in this hobby, and they approach it like a business – and that is actually a good thing... it brings pride in their work. It also provides escorts who care about their customers/clients.”

From the male perspective, the Internet is definitely safer than things were 10 years ago and more. One gentleman said, “I definitely feel the Internet benefits the men, and is relatively safe. Because if a certain woman were a cop or a rip-off, indiscreet with client info, or just bad at what she does, word would get around the review boards and the discussion boards quickly. While I’m aware there are Bad Client Lists (BCLs) on the EO [Escorts Only] boards, I don’t think the Internet protects the women as well as it does the men.”

All agreed that the Internet provides a measure of security for the client, as they are able to determine in advance if a particular lady offers the services they are interested in, view her photos – and read the all-important reviews.

Back in the day

For clients, the days before the Internet were “hit and miss” as one gent described it. Foxred writes, “Some individuals might have enjoyed the tension and called it excitement in their confusion. Escort services prior to today’s Internet was more like a crap shoot. If you were a traveler, you didn’t have any information until you arrived. You didn’t know the town, didn’t know where you were being led. It was a scary thing to step out and venture into the unknown. Even with a photograph back in the days of paper print, very seldom were images close to reality, or they were so obscure, you couldn’t tell.”

Another gent, known on his local board as “Mr. Reindeer,” writes that the days before the Internet were “not horrible, just sort of like comparing a Model T to a Ferrari. You make do with the technology currently available.”

Wmax2 writes that his hobbying before the Internet was “mostly limited to street action... there were many scams and schemes and I have been the victim of several. But the Internet girls aren’t without their schemers and scammers, too. But the Internet is a better place.”

Before the Internet, “I most definitely felt isolated,” writes one man. “There was absolutely no one to share experiences with, concerns, or just to answer simple questions. There was also no advice – it was a take it or leave it world, with no margin for error.”

Clients I interviewed met women in a variety of ways before the advent of the Internet. A great percentage went to massage parlors. One even used CB radio channels in the 80s. All complained that you never knew what you were going to get, what the girl would really look like, what services she would provide, whether it was going to be a good or bad experience. One gentleman joked that he would just open up the Oyster (an adult newspaper) and throw darts at it. Many experienced ripoffs and scam artists.

Hanging out with the guys

Clients, too, feel that same sense of community on the Internet that I do. Wmax2 writes, “I see many of the other hobbyists with brotherly eyes, and as peers. I also see quite a few of the escorts, whom I have known a while, as sisters. I would go to quite some length to protect or help them. What it is like for me is that I feel the same emotions returned to me from both men and women.”

Another client, MrFisher, writes “I didn’t know I was isolated until I got onto the Internet big time, especially knowing people on boards and such. I’m still just a few months into this, but I am loving it.”

“I never knew how widespread it was until I found out about it on the Net,” adds one man.

One California hobbyist notes that the sense of community on the net is “really a great thing. I’ve made loads of new friends who share a common interest. Many good friends are fellow hobbyists. I’ve developed long-term professional and personal associations and friendships with many providers.”

A client also pointed out that the community allows clients to “play in any scene of sex that you enjoy, with a provider that is knowledgeable and good in her specialty.... I occasionally like some B&D, and can find who and what I like on the Internet and can discuss it openly.”

Sex workers, too, get something out of the interaction with the clients. They become humanized, not just a “trick” or a “john,” but a person – with thoughts, desires, and feelings. We are able to get to know our clients in a much more personal way long before the session actually takes place. By the time I finish an email exchange with a client, I really feel that I know him. When he arrives for his session, it’s like greeting an old friend I’ve never met.

The down side

Today, I spend hours on the computer each day, and relatively little time actually in bed. The administrative side of being an Internet call-girl is epic. As one client noted above, this is a business, and like any other small business, there is a tremendous amount of work to be done all the time. Emails must be answered, in a timely fashion. Advertising on the Net takes a huge amount of time. Banner exchanges, submitting ads, updating profiles and photos, corresponding with other ladies, following the discussion boards and escort boards, keeping up to date with the latest trends in everything from safe sex to lingerie, body maintenance (hair, nails, waxing, etc.) – all of these things consume many hours every day. Before, I simply answered the phone and met people at my incall, did the session, and went home. I renewed my ads once a month, had my hair done, and that was the end of it. “It was simpler then,” wrote one woman. “We did our job and we had fun. Now we have to work.”

A few women point out that there is a big difference between “hobbyists” and “just clients.” Most preferred the latter. Hobbyists are hardcore about the Internet, the boards and review system. “Just clients” are nice men who do this once in a while, and don’t become involved with the politics and personal lives of providers and other hobbyists.

Not all prostitutes like the Internet, especially those who remember what things were like before. There’s lots to be unhappy about. Unscrupulous webmasters take advantage of girls, demanding ever higher payments, or physical recompense for their efforts. There have always been people willing to take advantage of prostitutes – now they do it online.

Of the ladies I interviewed, the largest complaint by far was about the review system. Ariadne notes that the Internet has “no series of checks and balances.” Before the Internet, she says, “the client did not have the power to ruin a girl or an agency with one mighty stroke of the `send’ key... because it doesn’t matter if you’re good or bad, there will always be someone who’s just grumpy, impossible to please.”

“Plus,” Ariadne says, “we’ve lost so much anonymity. You don’t have the ability to just `pull up stakes’ and reinvent yourself. You can try moving to another city, working under another name, but some hobbyist somewhere is going to recognize you as `Belinda’ from before, and run tell everyone all over the Internet.”

Another provider adds, “before escorting became so widespread on the Internet, women were still in control. They set the standards, made the rules. Maybe it is different in other cities, but for Atlanta it seems as if the board/review culture has made pimps out of middle class white men... we had boundaries, and they knew better than to try and cross them.”

She continues, “I find it absolutely appalling that these men trolling the Internet for escorts feel they are so entitled to make the rules, invade our lives to the degree that they do, with total disregard for our safety or well being. The way they get on these boards and discuss the most private, personal and intimate details of their encounters, with little or no regard to the impact of their actions on the lady. I mean, even out of town clients staying in hotels think they are supposed to be provided with a location to `protect their anonymity,’ which with the old print ad days would never have happened. We went to them, we did our thing, we left. End of story. Now, every swinging dick trolling the Internet wants to get all up in every aspect of our lives.”

Many feminists, both within the sex industry and without, find reviews degrading. According to some, they further objectify the prostitute. Many review boards use a numeric rating system, reducing the woman to a mere number, an experience to a quantified statistic. Feminists argue that reviews, even good ones, do not honor the provider, but shame her (or him).

The “juicy details” aspect of reviews is a real concern for prostitutes. Reviews have been used by the police as evidence against many women in prostitution cases, along with their websites, emails, and other information gleaned from the Net.

Indeed, every story I found regarding prostitution and the Internet related to a bust, somewhere. All over the country, vice detectives are watching and reading the Internet, gathering information, preparing stings. Most often, escort services are the chief targets, but independent girls are investigated as well.

I am very careful about what I say and put on my website, but I have no control over the reviews. I am caught in a no-win situation: I can ask to have my reviews taken down (assuming I can track down all of the websites that have reviews on me), but if I do, my business will suffer exponentially. So I cross my fingers. I write disclaimers. And I screen my clients very, very carefully.

Of the women I interviewed, those who weren’t in the Life before the advent of the Internet simply accept the status quo.

The march of progress

Regardless of personal feelings, the Internet has become part of our lives as prostitutes, and as sex workers in general. Whole new areas of sex work have opened up on the Internet, including web-cam work, cyber chat and email fantasy work, members-only sites selling everything from email domination to panties, and new opportunities for video and phone work.

Hookers, generally a clever and inventive lot, have adapted beautifully to this relatively new medium. And despite the negatives, there are many positives to be found in the cyber world. Advertising rates, for example, are phenomenally cheaper than print mediums, and in many cases, absolutely free. We have greater options for how we present our image to the world. We have more control over our business. “I like using the Internet because it allows me to be my own boss,” one prostitute writes. “And for someone such as myself with major control issues, that’s a biggie.”

Seattle’s Ashley DeVyne says, “The Internet is a great tool that I use to screen potential clients. I also use the Net to network with other providers; it helps me to not feel so alone in a business that is very secretive and not widely accepted. Not everyone understands what we do or why we do it, and a lot of us don’t have any support system. I encourage other providers to reach out and network; it sure is nice to know you’re not all alone in what can be a very lonely business.”

Another woman adds, “I can do everything online. I can update my website, advertise in many different places, talk to people. I can screen rather than just going on gut instinct. I think it’s put me in touch with more people overall. Plus, I don’t have to go anywhere if I’m not working. I can run my life around this – I can cook meals, watch TV, surf the Net, etc. when I’m in between jobs.”

“I feel like a part of a big family now, a sisterhood!” says one provider. “We have a `sorority!” The community is just as enjoyable as the job!”

For me, one of the best things about the Internet is my connection with the other women, and my ability to find information about political groups, health-related sites, and sympathetic organizations. Access to the latest safe-sex information is invaluable. From SWOP to COYOTE and everyone in between, I am a more informed, enlightened whore. And I really enjoyed being able to look at Annie Sprinkle’s cervix online.

Playing it safe

Safety is a huge concern for prostitutes. Concerns include physical safety, anonymity, and protection from police. Among the women I interviewed, there was some disagreement as to whether the Internet provided a greater degree of safety than in the pre-cyber days. Ariadne writes, “I can search out a client’s information, I know his first name, last name, home address, etc. In a way it makes my screening easier, but I still have to use my intuition – which was all I had to rely on in the past. It was perfectly sufficient.”

Indeed, that “gut instinct” that providers must hone, is still my primary screening tool today. An email can just “feel funny” much in the same way a phone call in the old days could just “sound funny.” I give these “gut feelings” great weight as I make my decision whether or not to see a client. Every hooker I know who has ever had something bad happen to her – from busts to rapes – had a “bad feeling” ahead of time that she just didn’t listen to.

Adds Princess Brooke of New Jersey, “Nothing is safe. It is only safe if a woman takes the proper precautions and screens her clients well.”

But the Internet does provide screening tools that escorts didn’t have in years past. “I like the safety of having so much information at your fingertips,” says one woman. “I can find out everything I need to know about a prospective client if I have his name and perhaps the city he resides in.... I also am able to share information with other providers.”

I love the referral system. More and more providers are sharing information with one another in the form of referrals. I have talked with women all over the country about different clients, and all have been generous in sharing information with me. I also provide referrals myself. One woman, Traci of Chicago, has started a site called referralfriendlyproviders.com, to encourage clients to seek out ladies who openly give referrals, and to provide a community for the providers that do.

Additionally, the Net offers Bad Call Lists or Do Not See lists, places where hookers can go and check whether others have had negative experiences with a client.

The review system, in some ways, make things safer as well. Abusive agencies and webmasters are outed very quickly. “I also really appreciate that the scum like I used to work for have a harder time,” writes Traci of Chicago. “They took advantage of naive girls. Now some of the more seasoned escorts take them under their wing to help teach them... that above all else makes the Internet a good thing for me.”

The more things change... the more they stay the same

Life has never been easy for prostitutes. There have always been new challenges, new situations to which we must adapt. The Internet is no different. But it has been a big change, a huge challenge. On one hand we appreciate decreased advertising costs, improved exposure to a wider variety of clientele, better screening tools, and a greater sense of community with our fellow whores. On the other we struggle with an inherently problematic review system, decreased anonymity and privacy, unscrupulous webmasters, increased administrative work, and new dangers from the legal community.

But in the end, we are still doing the same job we’ve been doing for centuries. We are performing the same services we always have, from the girls working in “jack shacks” to the high-end courtesans. We are a collection of diverse men and women, from all walks of life.

On the Internet, we are able to come together, forming a huge community that has never existed before. In the days before the Internet, the ladies in a massage parlor or from an escort service would hang out together, or party at a local bar. The community consisted of a handful of people. Now men and women from all over the world are able to connect, to communicate, commiserate, and share experiences, both good and bad. Our circle of friends has grown to epic proportions.

This community is an honorable one. Writes one client, “It is not the `shady, sinister’ world some would have you believe, and I, for one, feel that is a very positive change.” Clients are coming to appreciate us in new ways, seeing us as human beings with desires, passions, fears, and hungers.

Without a doubt, I am more exposed on the Internet, my real self merging with my escort persona. I can be hurt, in a variety of ways. But I believe that, to get the best of anything, you have to willing to be open – open personally, and open to new experiences. The connection that I make with my fellow sex workers, and with my clients, brings me tremendous satisfaction that I never felt before the advent of the Internet. Despite its problems, I think it’s worth it – the community is worth it.

With increased visibility comes increased risk, but the potential for greater rewards. As prostitutes come together on the Internet, we grow stronger, and begin to recognize our common causes, our strengths. We find unity.

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